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27
Dec
New year’s around the corner

Time flies so fast. Can’t believe new year’s around the corner and that means my 11th wedding anniversary and and week later is the day when my husband passed away.

Life without my husband was tough and hard. Not in a financial way *for now* but like people say, money can’t buy happiness. It can only RENT happiness.

Risa now is 1 year and 8 months old (1 year and 6 months adjusted). She’s growing and she’s turning into just like her mom lol. She amazes me every single moment. Apart from grieving, life with Risa is wonderful. It’s like a magic. There are words to describe it.

Risa made me happy though but there are moments when I lock myself out in the closet or sit on the stairs just calm myself down. I guess that’s quite common for a mother, that’s the challenge of being a good mother.

Gtg

Category: Whats On  Comments off
08
Aug
7 months

11-8-8-8:07: 7 months has passed.
And I’m still grieving and sadly none of the ppl I know truly understand how I feel. Wait there’s one because she’s also lost someone she love so much recently. But she told me that her lost is nothing compare to me.

I need to talk so someone, someone that experienced the same thing. Someone that also lost her spouse. May I say widow to widow talk?
Some say that I need get over it and face the reality. Believe me. I am trying so damn hard to face the truth the he’ll never ever going to come back. I’m still keeping my husband’s things, his favourite things. I want and need to show them to my daughter someday when she’s grow up.

Okay gotta stop writing. Risa is just woke up.

Category: Moody, Whats On  2 Comments
23
Mar
Happy Birthday Lil Risa!

A year ago today at 4 :19 AM my little girl Risa Kitamura was born. She was taken from my not-so-comfy womb at week 30 and 3-day due to pregnancy complication Total Placenta Previa. 

I remember I felt a huge gush bleeding. The blood was all over the bed before the nurse even reach my door room at the hospital.

It was crazy. I will always remember it. The very last night I carry my baby in my belly. I don’t think I’m able to have a baby again since my husband’s now gone. And I don’t intend to remarriage.  My life now is all about Risa. She is all I have now.

A year has passed. Risa is one year old now. It is extremely unfortunate that her father will not be able to watch her grow. But I believe he’s watching us from up there. 

I missed him terribly every second, minute and every single day. The memories of him flashed back every minutes and every day. It’s a dreadful feeling but I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Which is so painful.

Risa is growing. She now can claps her hands but not walking yet. She loves to laugh and smile a lot! I guess she inherited that from me :) . 

Anyway a friend will be coming over tomorrow. SIL and Niece are here to celebrate Risa’s birthday. Even though Risa’s father won’t be here with us but I know that we, Risa and I are blessed in so many ways. And I believe that someday we will be together again. Reunited with her father.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING RISA!
You are the best thing in my life. My precious little girl. We love you so very very much!

Quick snap

Category: Family, Whats On  Tags:  2 Comments
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