A year ago today at 4 :19 AM my little girl Risa Kitamura was born. She was taken from my not-so-comfy womb at week 30 and 3-day due to pregnancy complication Total Placenta Previa.
I remember I felt a huge gush bleeding. The blood was all over the bed before the nurse even reach my door room at the hospital.
It was crazy. I will always remember it. The very last night I carry my baby in my belly. I don’t think I’m able to have a baby again since my husband’s now gone. And I don’t intend to remarriage. My life now is all about Risa. She is all I have now.
I’ve been crying every day ever since he left. It just hurt so bad. I miss his voice calling out my name. I miss talking and laughing with him. I miss going out to dinner, shop and travel with him. God I miss everything about him. Dear God why did you take him away from us. We needed him and you took him away. It’s not fair. Why can’t I live normally just like most people do.
All I wanted is to have a normal life. Ever since I was born my life has been always out of ordinary. I wanted my daughter to live the life I couldn’t get to live but she ended up the same like me. She will never be able feel how is it like to be loved by her father. I’m scared that someday she will ask about her father and I don’t know if I can answer all of her questions. It’s not going to be easy for me raising her all by myself. But I have to and I must. I hope I can be there for my little daughter in every step of the way. Until my time come.
It’s been over a week since my husband passed away. To be honest I really don’t know how I feel at the moment.
I still can’t believe that he is gone now, gone forever. And I will be missing him every single day for the rest of my life.
We were together for eleven years, married for ten years. He was my soulmate, best friend ever and best husband I could ever have. He spoiled me and took care of me. He gave me everything he got. The best gift he ever gave me was Risa and she is all I have now.